Box Cave-Part 1

Dear Diary, 
All kittens should have a box to practice evasive maneuvers. My girl started making me a box cave. This is the first box, see below. It had a function rating of 3/10. My butt and hind legs barely fit in it. I had to squeeze my body through the holes because she didn't make them big enough. This of course was demonstrated as she was making it; because I really wanted to help. I did carry all the bits of cardboard to every corner of the house for her. It's our way of playing "find the trash" she says. I of course was saving them for later. I need good pieces of cardboard for when the dust bunnies are hiding from me. 

A well made box cave can save any kitten from the slobber of dogs. Tucker especially enjoys licking me and chewing on me till I reek of dog. Although sometimes my new aroma allows me to sneak up on Lance easier. Why he lets Tucker attack him and not me I don't know. I think he is bias towards other dogs and his soft heart thinks he will hurt me. The bigger I get the more he will like me. (I hope)

Namaste

Dear Diary, 
I found a mentor on YouTube for cat yoga. I have been trying his poses intensely; but know I am just a beginner. Let me mark these videos for future reference. 

Namaste oh great mentor. 

Scaredy-Cat

Dear Diary,

Lately I have been so in depth in my training I don’t hear my girl come up behind me. I am busy trying to catch bugs by my window perch or meditating. She is always trying to interrupt my ninja education by picking me up. Whenever she does this I end up jumping three inches into the air, I can't help myself!

My girl always laughs at me like she's shocked that she scares me. I definitely need to work on this! Ninja kitties are NOT allowed to be scared. Especially not three times in one day!

I need to train for this and I think my girl will be the perfect helper for me. I will scare her!

Get the Girl!

Dear Readers
You asked for it. Here is a few snippets of me getting the girl while I play ball. Listen closely... she is good at saying Ow!

This is me attempting to practice my ninja reflexes when the girl kept pushing it with the ball. Oh and did you see that back paw kept wanting in on the action. It was a rough lesson; I was getting frustrated! 

Oops!

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was National Dog Day. I am just realizing this. I feel bad I didn't support my fur family. Here is a link to the official page for all my readers who like dogs. Don't feel bad if you don't click it, some of you just have to love cats and not dogs. It's OK.

National Dog Day

I have a little bit of advice for you dogs---

1. After your humans give you a bath, don't let them towel dry you! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans' bedtime.
2. Act like a convicted Criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (this allows cats to get away with murder)
3. Wake up 20 minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (This will drive them nuts and pet the cat because I will be there purring and waiting for them to say how sweet i am that i didn't wake them up)

Trust me these tips are IMPORTANT!

The Blur

Dear Diary, 

I have been working on my stealth ability lately. How fast can I run around the house without anyone seeing me? I am quick and they call me "The Blur" I am good at being quick but the old lady says running into things  is not very stealth like. I need to work on my stopping and apparently my direction because when I zoom all over the house things fall over, or they chase me. I was exercising with a plastic bag the other day and just swish swish running back and forth, a few leaps when the air picked it up and it scared me, when it latched on! Before I knew it I had run into the other room even faster and bam right into the bookcase, bag and all. Those bags are evil but prove to be good trainers. I do admit I get a bit scared when they latch on; I need to work on that. I must be fierce! Early morning is the best time to be a blur. When the old lady get her coffee and fills the water bowl, I run back and forth and she is so slow all she says is ... "Good Morning BlurBoo" she is cute sometimes with her nicknames. I don't care what she calls me; I just like to be recognized in the mornings for being up and cheerful. Of course this morning I did get locked out of my girls’ room after she proclaimed I was driving her crazy. Not my fault she doesn't like to get up at 6 am. Teens... seriously. (rolls eyes)

Napping

Dear Diary,

Finding a good nap spot is important. There are several places around this house but each represents different things. Say I want to take a nap on my window perch. This is saying to the others in the house “You are safe, I am feeling really tired and nothing can wake me up for a few hours.” But if I sleep in the dog bed, I am saying “Just try to bug me dog, I dare you.” Napping on the couch keeps all the dogs away and they have to lie on the floor. Plus I am ADORABLE when I curl up under the covers. I love to nap under things. My girl thinks I am just the cutest! Of course I am but that is beside the point. I am reminding her of the fact when I do it. You have to have a good balance to be top cat in a house.

Of course this  could always be used for an attack starting spot too. 

Claw Care and usage.

Dear Readers,

One of our most important assets given to us is our claws. We use them for a variety of things. Like Toe grab, climbing humans, teaching the dogs whose boss. Here is a snippet to show you my prized claws.

Care of said claws includes shredding of many things. Toilet paper is a fabulous item for using them in a rapid succession. The faster you go the better, see if you too can get the whole roll on the floor quickly! When you want attention and humans are busy but try to put you down, stick them into the skin deeply. Usually one claw on the dogs’ nose will deter it. This is important for any kitten just starting out. Couches make great places to sharpen claws, just use the edges! Curtain climbing is valuable for building strength. But the most fun of all is when you can leap on to something barely making it and grab on! Usually you end up marking whatever it is. It’s important to establish a good base of what is yours by marking it up.  Do not use claws in the litter box; this makes them dull and smelly. Keep them well hidden in that instance.

Feel free to share your comments on claw care with me. I am always looking for new ways to improve their usage through a variety of exercises.  

Gamer Kitty!

Dear Diary, 
I am a gamer kitty at heart! I love it when the old lady plays Everquest 2. She flies up into the air and lets the birds circle her. Then I practice my attacks! Of course now that I know what she is doing I want to help her all the time and she says "no you are not a healer, you're a monk. I am playing the healer right now." And then we practice me landing on all 4 paws again. Over and over and over until something else distracts me for a few min. Everyone that the old lady plays with knows me now too. I am her special helper. She tells them so. I heard her say it once..."healer down!! DAMN cat is helping again! " She is so excited too! I know the other 23 people in her raid are so glad she got me. 

Good Morning!

Dear Readers

Good morning from beautiful International Falls! 

Today's to do list includes squirrel watching, bug hunting, a bit of torture the dogs and my new thing I am trying to learn is talk like a bird. I do half meows at them and try to entice them over to my personal bird feeder, that I have near my window. Here I am on my window perch. I can see the “Hood” watch the yard, and am still close to the old lady for when I need my belly rubbed.

Have a kittyriffic day everyone!

Who's getting who?

Dear Diary, 
They call it "Get the Kitty" but I do just as much of the gettin' as Tucker does. It should be called "Get the doggy".

Secrets

Dear Diary, 

The old lady and my girl went away for a few days. So I don't think they should be able to read what i was doing in their absence. My secret ninja attacks on the babysitter, and how cute i was will have to be kept to myself. 
And just out of spite when they came home. I did not play the Catdog and act like they were gone forever. I properly displayed my true catlike nature and gave them the "Oh were you gone?" attitude. This makes them come to me instead of me coming to them. As it should be when a cat has mastered the house. 

Workout Tower

Dear Diary,

When I first received my tower I could barely climb it. Now I can jump up to each level from the level before. I am growing stronger with each training session. I can get from the floor to ceiling in 3 seconds flat! I have several toys attached to my tower to simulate different attack strategies. The fluffy thing is like a bird; I can attack it and take it down to bare feathers in moments! Old lady doesn’t mind because she says at least they aren’t real. Then there is the ball with the bell, which is there to get me to keep attacking even if things make noise. This has been helpful during the toe game. The girl has been training me also with my pounce treats. She shakes the bottle and I have to get to the top as soon as possible to get one. I love my treats, it shows I am on the right track for training. 

Growth marks

Dear Diary,

I am growing so big. My girl has been marking my growth.

When I sit up straight it really shows. Just a few weeks ago I was half my size!

I think it’s the chicken lance shares with me. 

Game-Toe grab

Dear Diary,

Oh My Gosh do I love this game!

<Singy voice> LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

The old lady plays it with me. Here is how it works. I am so excited it’s hard to write this down.I am like that guy in the movie "My cousin Vinny. ok okokokay okayokay" 

I go under the old ladies bed and prime my inner ninja. Double-check the claws and wait.paw gestures the reenactment of wolverine in X men with his claws The old lady comes into the room and shuffles around the bed with Grade A prime BARE toes. She moves all around the sides of the bed pulling things off or putting them on. I think she calls it doing laundry or making the bed, something like that. All I know is I am so compelled to attack those toes! It is so much fun! They jump, she squeaks my name and we do it all over again!!! By far this is one of the best games I have played. I get so excited that afterwards I run  and jump for joy all over the house. I know I am the winner because the old lady grabs the Neosporin tube. 

Things that go bump in the night.

Dear Diary,

I have added an hour of house checks to my daily routine. Every night around 2 am I make the rounds over and over. Is Dusty ok on the couch? Yes she is fine and I will stay away from her. Is Lance in his spot? Yes he is where he sleeps every night, but just to make sure he is breathing I will nudge his tail a few times, tap him on the nose and provoke him for a few  minutes just in case.

Sometimes when I check on Tucker he will help me with the rounds. We move from room to room quickly. Just because you don’t see something odd or off kilter the first time you check doesn’t mean it isn't there. If you act like you’re leaving and then turn real quick, check again.

Is Maggie holding down the covers on the bed between the humans? She has an important job. I really don’t bug her except for the occasional jump over her when checking the humans. The old lady loves to leave her feet out of the covers. That is not how it should be done. A few ninja paws gets them right back under where they should be. She wears a sleeping mask too, sometimes I have to check that, make sure it’s ok. A good couple of pounces and she checks it too! All is well with her.

Now that girl of mine… ugg. That girl takes forever to check. She sleeps so hard. I can run up and down her and no reaction. Sometimes after repeated attention I finally get recognition for securing the thought that she is ok in bed and she will grab me and pull me under the covers. I usually end with the girl and decide it’s nice under the covers and rest again till the light comes through the windows. Everyone says that I really don’t have to do this every night, but I feel it’s important to make sure everyone is safe and A-ok.

Dusty and her personal space bubble

Dear Diary,

Maggie left to go to work with the old guy that visits. I hear she will be gone for 5 days. Which is fine and all, but they left Dusty with us and she has some issues. She requires a good 2ft. personal space bubble. She gets so grouchy with me if I do not respect her space. Old lady says she is the matriarch of the fur family and I should listen to her. The problem with this is she lies in the MIDDLE of everything, and she is HUGE! I can’t practice any of my skills in this tiny house if she wants to dominate most of the floor space. The only thing I have going for me is she is so slow. I have been known to jump on and over her in a flash. By the time it registers to her that I was in the no Dusty zone, I am already in a different room. Why can’t she lay in Maggie’s bed when she is gone? It’s out of the way and already marked as no trespassing area. I have little hope with this dog. She is just not trainable nor do I feel I will be able to dominate her. This is a hit to my plans and the situation will need reconsideration after the other dogs fall into line. 

Hunting Bunnies

Dear Diary,

I have been given a new role in the family unit. “Dust Bunny Wrangler” is my official title; quoting the old lady. She said it is an excellent challenge for my stealth and ninja ability. My size is perfect for this too; small is needed to be a bunny wrangler. There seems to be an ever growing population of bunnies in our home. I have found a few and the old lady removes them, but I can still find more. The best places to find the bunnies are under things. They like to hide in small dark corners. Sometimes they are so big they attack me! I have to run out from their hiding spot and have the old lady grab them off me! I didn't think they came with a sticky attachment but you learn something new every day. The more I come across, the more treats I get! I like this new position. Cue commentary in my head… And now the MIGHTY dust bunny hunter strikes again! 

Wet again.

Dear Diary,
Wet again. I can't contain myself when the old lady does her dishes.This time she used really cold water! brrrrr

Leash training Tucker

Dear Diary, 

Today I continue the educating of Tucker. When he hears the humans say “Get the kitty!!!” He will think twice. First you need to establish dominance by binding him in some way. I am demonstrating the use of a leash in this photo. The leash means power. I have seen the humans use it on him. They command respect and direct him in what he can do while attached to the leash. Do not be fooled by the image I have given. This is very dangerous work. One miss claw grab and you could possibly be dragged around the house. Experience is knowledge. I also believe a bit more weight on my end will help immensely. This could take a few months. I am a determined 3 pounds of fluff. I will succeed in this lesson. 

"Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you."

Contact paper

Dear Diary,

I tried to help again today. The old lady was working with some sticky paper on some shelves. I was trying to put my paws on hers and direct the flow of laying this paper out. We didn't want bubbles but she kept insisting it was my fault we got them. I think she is crazy, my paws can be swift and soft. After a few attempts she decided I needed my own sticky paper. I don’t have any shelves. This was not as fun as helping her. She totally had me all bemused with the paper and I have no idea how she finished the job she was doing, because it took me forever to get the paper off and couldn't help. I have to say I prefer to work with non sticky substances. I think i lost a bit of fur.

Compromising position

Dear Diary,

I was caught in a compromising position. Do not attempt this position if you do not trust your surroundings. I was so tired the other night and my girl offered to hold me while I totally conked out. As a kitten we can sleep hard. I mean so hard we are called cat rugs. You can move us anywhere and we just flop around and go. My endurance is short-lived as I am still growing and maturing. So I am often found in these positions. The dogs are found like this too, so I am not to worried. I was in her arms and she started to rub my tummy. My girl says most cats don’t like their belly stroked. I LOVE IT! It’s so comforting to have my belly massaged. You would think I was part amphibian. I hear frogs sleep when you pet their bellies too! I think I should look into google and see if I can get the girl to practice more techniques. I think all kitty owners should be skilled in the art of massage. 

Visitors

Dear Diary,

 The old lady had a visitor come to the house. She was a very nice lady with the smell of small dog on her. Warning!!!  If you are a guest in our home I will ninja attack you. Yup you are not safe just because you have a “Visitor” status. I am not a discriminating kitty. The back of her knee had a bulls eye on it I swear! I just had to dig my ninja claws in. Plus I have to admit it is the most sporting of all events to attack a human. They tend to squeak and jump. GREAT FUN! Then they like to spew threatening words at you. I am the NINJA of this house… spew all you want; I have marked you and will again. <tips paw from top of head while bowing>  Bring it, visitors…bwahahaaa

Getting organized

Dear Diary,

I was watching the old lady make a to-do list. I thought I should do this that way I have a nice timeline of things I want to accomplish. I could put in things like, wake Kelsey up for school, let Kelsey know I need my litter box changed; I could even have a nice rotation of a Ninja Kitty training schedule.

So here is my list. 

Very clever old lady...very clever.

The other side of Ninja.

Dear Diary,

So much talk about my ninja skill, stealth ability and dominance I am leaving out a few components that makes me truly special. My overall cute factors, my ability to be sweet, cuddly and silly are 50% of what makes me the diva of this house. Let’s recap a few moments that I have registered as 100% working in my favor.

1. When the humans come home from being gone. I run to the door like the dogs and meow and say “Welcome home you were gone FOREVER and I missed your company.”  Yes I have learned to welcome them from high up because although I am a dominate force in this house 3 pounds of all this kitty goodness does not stand up to 300 pounds of happy dogs all in one spot. I am making it work though. I have a good spot, and the humans acknowledge me right away. Mental note – bonus if I softly touch them with my paws and purr.
2. Sleeping with the humans. When they are sleeping I love to cuddle up with them. I enjoy finding a good cover to crawl under and usually I end up behind the knees or in an armpit. Very warm spots! And when they wake up they are so glad to see me and enjoy the extra comfort I have been so graciously supplying.
3. Silliness- I hear this a lot from the humans. “She is so silly!”  I have noticed when I play with Tucker, I hear this several times. Sure I see it as a lesson in my ninja skills but hey if the humans want to call it silly, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Yet. Those leaps in mid air, tumbles and acrobatic moves are all part of my training. I am swift as the air, silent as mouse and as deadly as a lion.
4. I love to play with the human’s computers. This makes me cute. I enjoy a good game of mahjong. I help show her where to go; sometimes the old lady says my directing skills are in need of a polish. I point and she can’t see because of my body being in the way. So we are working on it. This actually is very amusing to me and is a good down time activity from my lessons. I do tend to take a nap after the relaxation of the game.
5. Purr box- I have a very good purr box. The kitten gods were good to me. This unique ability clicks on about 75% of the day and nobody, not even the dogs can turn it off. Natural things like that help me immensely. Situations arise and all I have to do is turn it on and viola out comes the forgiveness factor in humans. So glad they have no idea they are totally being played till the next moment when they get attacked.

I have so many cute things I do, but I think these summon up the gist of my sustainability, and allow me to get away with being told “NO” so many times. 


I am cute, yes I am. here I am snuggling with Maggie. 

Old lady intervening here.

Boo Boo my sweet <sometimes> Boo.

1. We acknowledge you when we come home right away because we are glad you have not been eaten by the dogs. You have a way of annoying then.
2. Have you not noticed you get moved right away when we find you cuddled up in odd places near our bodies? Have you not heard the comments from the man who visits? “Cat dog loves to get so close!”
3. Tucker is our babysitter for you. He is told  ...” Get the kitty!!! Tucker get the kitty!” Because we are tired of your overwhelming and lavishly applied attention here and there.
4. Playing mahjong also leads to practicing landing on all 4 paws. Stew on that concept.
5. Purring is like a poker game. It doesn’t work if you have a tell. Flicking your tail while purring is a sure sign of attack cat in the shadows. Work on it hun. 

Still mad at my escort.

Dear Diary, 

This is for Kelsey my escort yesterday for my date. I am still not the happiest with your decision to not help me when getting poked with a needle. Our trust level is diminished and this song sums it up. 

I hope you feel a bit of shame Kelsey...I mean they could of like you know stolen a KIDNEY  or something.. I have heard of those shady Doctors.

First date was a wash!

Dear Diary,

I went out for my date with the Dr. I was so excited I couldn’t stop telling my escort Kelsey the WHOLE way there very loudly. Then we arrived and I was taken to a special room to have our “date”. Well screw that! I was given a measly treat and then stuck with a needle. Some escort Kelsey turned out to be, shouldn’t a bodyguard/escort protect you from bad dates?  Find me a good Alley Tom to warm me at night because there is no way I could ever love a Dr. Although I hear I won’t be interesting in them after my special surgery. I was glad to leave and I am firing the mail lady who brought me that invitation. Hope she speaks the known HISS language cuz that is ALL she is getting from me from now on! 

The dominance of Lance

Dear Diary,

I have whipped the dog Lance. He might be the biggest of them all but he is a <singy voice> SUCKKAAA!!!  Yesterday he was eating a piece of chicken and I wanted some. Old lady tells me “NO food for you!” But I like food that isn’t hard pebbles. I simply went over to him and quietly said “you give me some of that or sleep with one eye open.” Bam down went the food out of his mouth and I proclaimed my dominance of the first dog in this house. The old lady of course was having none of that and picked me up, put me in time out and gave Lance his chicken back. She will pay for this. Undermining my authority must be dealt with immediately.  <Paw from my eye to hers and back again> I am watching you old lady... sleep well tonight.

Special announcement!!

Dear Diary, 

I received my first formal invitation to go somewhere! My girl says she will be my escort and she has already replied to the invitation saying I will gladly attend! I am so excited! And get this! The invitation is from <ahumm> a Doctor! I am moving up in the social circles ladies and gents! I get to go out of the glass wall that swings finally! 

I may just suck it up and get the old lady to let me into the sink for a scrub... I mean no no I didn't say that, I don't like water... Wait... I kind of do. 

Debate- Helpful versus Pest

Dear Diary,

Old lady and I were debating these words for the last few weeks. We have not fully finished but I thought I would clue you in to our little debate.

I believe in certain situations I am being Helpful to her. She believes in those same situations I am a pest. Here are a few of them to ponder.

Laundry- Particularly the dryer.

Me- Old lady drops a sock. The sock is wet and a bit defiant. I have to jump said sock, tumble with it, and sometimes even go all ninja kitty to get it to behave. Very Helpful!  

Old lady- Boo steals socks, I do not drop them on the floor. She takes them from inside the dryer and drags them around getting them dirty again. I have to rewash sock. Pest!

Dusting

Me- I show her where to dust by jumping on things and trying to direct the swiffer to the correct areas. Sometimes I grab it and say “NO!  Bad swiffer you missed a spot”. Helpful.

Old lady- Boo follows me around and attacks the swiffer. She is determined to beat it into submission so that it doesn’t even work. After I am done dusting I find chunks of swiffer fluff and have to go back and pick them up. If she can’t climb something close to where I am dusting she tries to climb me.  Pest.

Getting Dressed

Boo- When the humans put on their clothes I like to point out certain things. Like today, the old lady was putting on her Capri’s. If I hadn’t pounced on them several times I am sure she would of gone out without tying the side strings. Helpful.

Old lady- I could barely even take them off the hanger without boo trying to play with the strings. As I was putting my legs thru she insisted on holding on to the fabric. Who wears cat adornments now a day? Yes I did remember to tie my side strings. I guess I concede to this one... she was Helpful.


score- 
Boo 2
Old lady 0


your opinion counts! give points to either boo or the old lady in your comment! 

Lance and Maggie Mystery

Dear Diary,
The old lady removes Lance and Maggie from me just about every day. They go out the glass wall that swings and I can’t seem to follow. I have seen them get in the “going to the nasty office where they stick you with needles vehicle” but they seem to like it. I don’t like going in my carrier to that vehicle. They always come back tired and wet too. What is with that? This is an obscure notion to me. Go away, get super tired, come home WET? They are showing signs of being senseless. But should I be surprised they are dogs. And what does run, swim, river and play ball mean?  Once I infiltrate their doggy allegiance, and learn their language, I hope to figure out this mystery. Till then I will just chalk it up to dog stupidity. <hmpf>