First date was a wash!

Dear Diary,

I went out for my date with the Dr. I was so excited I couldn’t stop telling my escort Kelsey the WHOLE way there very loudly. Then we arrived and I was taken to a special room to have our “date”. Well screw that! I was given a measly treat and then stuck with a needle. Some escort Kelsey turned out to be, shouldn’t a bodyguard/escort protect you from bad dates?  Find me a good Alley Tom to warm me at night because there is no way I could ever love a Dr. Although I hear I won’t be interesting in them after my special surgery. I was glad to leave and I am firing the mail lady who brought me that invitation. Hope she speaks the known HISS language cuz that is ALL she is getting from me from now on! 

The dominance of Lance

Dear Diary,

I have whipped the dog Lance. He might be the biggest of them all but he is a <singy voice> SUCKKAAA!!!  Yesterday he was eating a piece of chicken and I wanted some. Old lady tells me “NO food for you!” But I like food that isn’t hard pebbles. I simply went over to him and quietly said “you give me some of that or sleep with one eye open.” Bam down went the food out of his mouth and I proclaimed my dominance of the first dog in this house. The old lady of course was having none of that and picked me up, put me in time out and gave Lance his chicken back. She will pay for this. Undermining my authority must be dealt with immediately.  <Paw from my eye to hers and back again> I am watching you old lady... sleep well tonight.

Special announcement!!

Dear Diary, 

I received my first formal invitation to go somewhere! My girl says she will be my escort and she has already replied to the invitation saying I will gladly attend! I am so excited! And get this! The invitation is from <ahumm> a Doctor! I am moving up in the social circles ladies and gents! I get to go out of the glass wall that swings finally! 

I may just suck it up and get the old lady to let me into the sink for a scrub... I mean no no I didn't say that, I don't like water... Wait... I kind of do. 

Debate- Helpful versus Pest

Dear Diary,

Old lady and I were debating these words for the last few weeks. We have not fully finished but I thought I would clue you in to our little debate.

I believe in certain situations I am being Helpful to her. She believes in those same situations I am a pest. Here are a few of them to ponder.

Laundry- Particularly the dryer.

Me- Old lady drops a sock. The sock is wet and a bit defiant. I have to jump said sock, tumble with it, and sometimes even go all ninja kitty to get it to behave. Very Helpful!  

Old lady- Boo steals socks, I do not drop them on the floor. She takes them from inside the dryer and drags them around getting them dirty again. I have to rewash sock. Pest!

Dusting

Me- I show her where to dust by jumping on things and trying to direct the swiffer to the correct areas. Sometimes I grab it and say “NO!  Bad swiffer you missed a spot”. Helpful.

Old lady- Boo follows me around and attacks the swiffer. She is determined to beat it into submission so that it doesn’t even work. After I am done dusting I find chunks of swiffer fluff and have to go back and pick them up. If she can’t climb something close to where I am dusting she tries to climb me.  Pest.

Getting Dressed

Boo- When the humans put on their clothes I like to point out certain things. Like today, the old lady was putting on her Capri’s. If I hadn’t pounced on them several times I am sure she would of gone out without tying the side strings. Helpful.

Old lady- I could barely even take them off the hanger without boo trying to play with the strings. As I was putting my legs thru she insisted on holding on to the fabric. Who wears cat adornments now a day? Yes I did remember to tie my side strings. I guess I concede to this one... she was Helpful.


score- 
Boo 2
Old lady 0


your opinion counts! give points to either boo or the old lady in your comment! 

Lance and Maggie Mystery

Dear Diary,
The old lady removes Lance and Maggie from me just about every day. They go out the glass wall that swings and I can’t seem to follow. I have seen them get in the “going to the nasty office where they stick you with needles vehicle” but they seem to like it. I don’t like going in my carrier to that vehicle. They always come back tired and wet too. What is with that? This is an obscure notion to me. Go away, get super tired, come home WET? They are showing signs of being senseless. But should I be surprised they are dogs. And what does run, swim, river and play ball mean?  Once I infiltrate their doggy allegiance, and learn their language, I hope to figure out this mystery. Till then I will just chalk it up to dog stupidity. <hmpf>