The dominance of Lance

Dear Diary,

I have whipped the dog Lance. He might be the biggest of them all but he is a <singy voice> SUCKKAAA!!!  Yesterday he was eating a piece of chicken and I wanted some. Old lady tells me “NO food for you!” But I like food that isn’t hard pebbles. I simply went over to him and quietly said “you give me some of that or sleep with one eye open.” Bam down went the food out of his mouth and I proclaimed my dominance of the first dog in this house. The old lady of course was having none of that and picked me up, put me in time out and gave Lance his chicken back. She will pay for this. Undermining my authority must be dealt with immediately.  <Paw from my eye to hers and back again> I am watching you old lady... sleep well tonight.