On Vacation

Dear Diary, 
The old lady left me to go mend her wounds. Ninja claws after 4 months were just to much for her. She said she needed at least 2 weeks to heal. I would think so! I am good at marking my territory. 

tones and words

Dear Diary,

I feel the need to share some vital information with any other kitten reading this. There are certain words and tones a kitten should learn from the humans. Here is my list-

1. Treat! This also comes with a nice tone and usually a shake of the bottle. Remember this word, it leads to getting yummy snacks! It's also the downfall of all ninja attacks. Usually I stop what I am doing and run to the treat spot. 

2. Your name. This is important in some ways but less in others. For example- You get outside and Lance chases you to far from the house. You know the sound of your name and when the humans call; it leads you home. This is the good way to know it. Now the other way. Example- You are on the counter or the sink or have ninja clawed yourself to their thigh. When the tone is high and loud and they yell "BOO" ignore them. This is where you begin your training of them. Pretty soon you can get all humans to flinch with just look and a sway of the tail. 

3. No. When they say this it's usually loud and in a deep voice, very sharp to the ears. Here is what you do. Make your self as flat as possible and STAND YOUR GROUND. Do not ... I repeat Do NOT run. Make them come to you THEN run. This frustrates them and you have done your duty for the day. Of course more skilled kittens might like to do this several times during the day just for fun. 

One note on tone. This can be deceiving, so be aware of the words they are using. They can talk as sweet as can be and still telling you you're a "little crazy monster" But worst of all is saying the words "Going to Vet" in sugar tone. Gets me every time, So beware! The dogs... All you have to say is "Wanna Go" and they run to the door. Don't fall for it! Just don't!!!

So there is a good starting point when it comes to tones and words. Try them out, listen, learn and work that dominating side! 

Bonfire

Dear Diary, 

The old lady gave up the ghost and realized I love to play outside. Last night I was invited to play outside with the humans. They let the dogs out too! We had a wonderful time of playing tag and hide and seek. I so love playing outside. It just makes me feel so alive and then I get to sleep really well at night. This morning I tried to go outside for a few minutes. It was really cold out and I ran back in. Old lady says to me "Not so much fun at 21 degrees huh Boo?" I am thinking ... No it's not. She says to me "Get use to it, this is just the beginning and then in some strange Game of Thrones voice says..."Winter is coming" <shrug> I have no idea what she is talking about. 

So Worried!!!

Dear Diary,

There is some discussion about my staying here in this home. I am so worried! My girl is supposed to clean my litter box and she has been rather lacking in that department. I don’t like yucky litter; it’s not good for the ninja claws. I was looking for a new place since the box was just plain yucky and my bladder just slipped on the old ladies bed. She had to go to the laundry mat right away because the washer is broken. <shrug> And the rest of the day she ranted about the girl and responsibility. I heard words like “Doesn’t matter how cute and loving I am… responsibility has consequences…” I am really scared! I love it here! Wish the old lady would just do my litter clean up. When the girl was gone for that one week it was cleaned all the time! Sometimes twice a day! I like it when the old lady does it.

<prays to kitten gods> PAWEEES PAWEEES PAWEEES make the girl do what she has to do, or make the old lady love me so much she takes over and the girl gets some other punishment. I don't want to be punished for the girls lack of actions. 

Small gap = Fun!

Dear Diary,

Shhhh… I found an escape route from the house. The window with the air conditioner has a gap. I discovered I am a very brave kitty and jumped about 12ft. to the ground. Then I was off to plunder all the leaves I wanted! No birds get to eat at our house today, Ninja kitty is on watch! The old lady thinks I might have escaped when she was letting a dog in. What she doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her. When I made the mistake of letting her know I was outside she came out to join me and brought Lance. He loves playing tag! We flew around the house in circles and up and down trees! Even played hide and seek in the flowers. He doesn't hide very well. I did come back in and found there is a box in front of my escape route. Hmmm wonder how that happened? Oh well will figure that out another day , all that fresh air made me sleepy.