Compromising position

Dear Diary,

I was caught in a compromising position. Do not attempt this position if you do not trust your surroundings. I was so tired the other night and my girl offered to hold me while I totally conked out. As a kitten we can sleep hard. I mean so hard we are called cat rugs. You can move us anywhere and we just flop around and go. My endurance is short-lived as I am still growing and maturing. So I am often found in these positions. The dogs are found like this too, so I am not to worried. I was in her arms and she started to rub my tummy. My girl says most cats don’t like their belly stroked. I LOVE IT! It’s so comforting to have my belly massaged. You would think I was part amphibian. I hear frogs sleep when you pet their bellies too! I think I should look into google and see if I can get the girl to practice more techniques. I think all kitty owners should be skilled in the art of massage. 

Visitors

Dear Diary,

 The old lady had a visitor come to the house. She was a very nice lady with the smell of small dog on her. Warning!!!  If you are a guest in our home I will ninja attack you. Yup you are not safe just because you have a “Visitor” status. I am not a discriminating kitty. The back of her knee had a bulls eye on it I swear! I just had to dig my ninja claws in. Plus I have to admit it is the most sporting of all events to attack a human. They tend to squeak and jump. GREAT FUN! Then they like to spew threatening words at you. I am the NINJA of this house… spew all you want; I have marked you and will again. <tips paw from top of head while bowing>  Bring it, visitors…bwahahaaa

Getting organized

Dear Diary,

I was watching the old lady make a to-do list. I thought I should do this that way I have a nice timeline of things I want to accomplish. I could put in things like, wake Kelsey up for school, let Kelsey know I need my litter box changed; I could even have a nice rotation of a Ninja Kitty training schedule.

So here is my list. 

Very clever old lady...very clever.

The other side of Ninja.

Dear Diary,

So much talk about my ninja skill, stealth ability and dominance I am leaving out a few components that makes me truly special. My overall cute factors, my ability to be sweet, cuddly and silly are 50% of what makes me the diva of this house. Let’s recap a few moments that I have registered as 100% working in my favor.

1. When the humans come home from being gone. I run to the door like the dogs and meow and say “Welcome home you were gone FOREVER and I missed your company.”  Yes I have learned to welcome them from high up because although I am a dominate force in this house 3 pounds of all this kitty goodness does not stand up to 300 pounds of happy dogs all in one spot. I am making it work though. I have a good spot, and the humans acknowledge me right away. Mental note – bonus if I softly touch them with my paws and purr.
2. Sleeping with the humans. When they are sleeping I love to cuddle up with them. I enjoy finding a good cover to crawl under and usually I end up behind the knees or in an armpit. Very warm spots! And when they wake up they are so glad to see me and enjoy the extra comfort I have been so graciously supplying.
3. Silliness- I hear this a lot from the humans. “She is so silly!”  I have noticed when I play with Tucker, I hear this several times. Sure I see it as a lesson in my ninja skills but hey if the humans want to call it silly, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Yet. Those leaps in mid air, tumbles and acrobatic moves are all part of my training. I am swift as the air, silent as mouse and as deadly as a lion.
4. I love to play with the human’s computers. This makes me cute. I enjoy a good game of mahjong. I help show her where to go; sometimes the old lady says my directing skills are in need of a polish. I point and she can’t see because of my body being in the way. So we are working on it. This actually is very amusing to me and is a good down time activity from my lessons. I do tend to take a nap after the relaxation of the game.
5. Purr box- I have a very good purr box. The kitten gods were good to me. This unique ability clicks on about 75% of the day and nobody, not even the dogs can turn it off. Natural things like that help me immensely. Situations arise and all I have to do is turn it on and viola out comes the forgiveness factor in humans. So glad they have no idea they are totally being played till the next moment when they get attacked.

I have so many cute things I do, but I think these summon up the gist of my sustainability, and allow me to get away with being told “NO” so many times. 


I am cute, yes I am. here I am snuggling with Maggie. 

Old lady intervening here.

Boo Boo my sweet <sometimes> Boo.

1. We acknowledge you when we come home right away because we are glad you have not been eaten by the dogs. You have a way of annoying then.
2. Have you not noticed you get moved right away when we find you cuddled up in odd places near our bodies? Have you not heard the comments from the man who visits? “Cat dog loves to get so close!”
3. Tucker is our babysitter for you. He is told  ...” Get the kitty!!! Tucker get the kitty!” Because we are tired of your overwhelming and lavishly applied attention here and there.
4. Playing mahjong also leads to practicing landing on all 4 paws. Stew on that concept.
5. Purring is like a poker game. It doesn’t work if you have a tell. Flicking your tail while purring is a sure sign of attack cat in the shadows. Work on it hun. 

Still mad at my escort.

Dear Diary, 

This is for Kelsey my escort yesterday for my date. I am still not the happiest with your decision to not help me when getting poked with a needle. Our trust level is diminished and this song sums it up. 

I hope you feel a bit of shame Kelsey...I mean they could of like you know stolen a KIDNEY  or something.. I have heard of those shady Doctors.