Training lesson- landing on all 4 paws.

Dear Diary,

I have been working on how to land on all four paws. Some would think a cat comes preprogrammed to do this. I am saying it takes practice. The other day I was frolic mode and rolling around on my tower. The edge came closer than I thought and off I flew. I landed on my side. Kittens don’t bounce. I think I am being good about quickly righting myself once on the ground and pretty sure I have perfected the “I meant to do that” look. The old lady is very good at helping me practice landing on all fours. I climb on her desk she drops me on the ground. If I am quick to get back to her desk she is so helpful and ups the heigth she drops me and sometimes the distance is included. So I tend to RUN back to her desk over and over because I don’t want to waste her time. She wants to help me in my training. One time she actually had to tell me to take a break, which I was over studying the lesson. I believe she thinks I am too small to continue such a rigorous course. That time I had to practice actually flying and landing on all 4 paws. But it was ok it was onto the couch in the spare room and oops she forgot I can’t open doors and closed it on me again.

I would say at this point I am still learning and at a 50% success rate. But I know due to my persistence and the old ladies help I will be upping that rate with every lesson. 

OH snap!

Dear Diary,
Two days have gone by and I barely realized it! I think I must be going through a growing spurt because <yawn> all I want to do is sleep. I don't even have it in me to practice my skills.
Good news though, my girl came home <3

My first KILL!

Dear Diary,

Day 87 of my life I have made my first kill. I have to admit it was a mishap. But every opportunity to learn is a good one. The details are important to remember as future kill needs will eventually arise. The old ladies scrap room is a resource beyond all other places in this abode. I found this unbelievably amusing round white thing. I brought it out to the living room and as I did it expanded! Before I knew it, it was all over the place and getting wrapped around me. It energized me and all of a sudden my inner ninja was out again with my frenzied frolic. I am now in triple threat mode! Booya! 

 I was leaping and covering it around all sorts of objects. Tucker and I were having a quite pleasurable time playing together when I went to hide behind the big wind blower. I usually don’t play around him; he likes to suck things in from the back. I know this because I see the fur he steals from the dogs in the back. The old lady is always using the monster in the closet to remove the fur but I know the wind blower’s motive is an evil one with an addiction to fur. I would like to keep my fur. That was when I learned my toy was now being eaten by the wicked wind blower! I quickly removed myself from my entanglement  and jumped back to watch it munch. It made a dreadful noise and then …nothing. The old man who visits came running to rescue it, but it was too late. What is a screwdriver? At the end of the day my kill was a success and it lay motionless. Strike one for Ninja kitty! 

Time for my close up Mr. Demille. 

Testing a theory

Remember the kitchen sink? I could of swore I got wet because I was climbing the kitchen towels. So I thought lets try something new. Let's work our cute voice. "Meow Meow.." swagger a bit around the ankles helps. But I kept being shoo-ed away.  Then I added in a bit of light touches with the paws on the legs. Still to no avail did I get her attention! Last in the arsenal was to actually climb the bare legs with my ninja paws. NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!




I am wet again. 


Towel climbing is a no...check.
Climbing legs is a no...check.

Monster in the closet

Dear Diary, 

There is a monster in the closet. It eats small things. I am small. The old lady has it tamed, but I still find I have the urge to run and hide. I usually follow Maggie. She knows the best spots of where to hide from the monster. The monster is released every single day, so in time I might be able to tame it too. It runs all around the house and makes this hideous noise as it sucks up things on the floor. One day it almost ate one of my fuzzy toys. I don't like this monster I wish it would just stay in the closet.

Time Out?

Dear Diary,

Today started out so well. Then it seems like out of nowhere I ended up locked in the spare room. I am not entirely sure what happened to lead to this.

It started like this. First of all the young female has abandoned me. I hear them say the words “away” but I just know she is not around anymore. This makes me sad and I am left to play with only the other animals and the older female. So this morning soon as there was a hint of light coming in the windows I decided that the older female needed comfort under her covers. Here I was trying to be a good kitty and I kept getting kicked and flicked away. She has no respect for my efforts. When she finally decided to get up I again felt she needed my company. I went into frenzy frolic mode I like to call it. And all of a sudden BAM she has discovered a weakness in my ARMOR! I was grabbed by the scruff of my neck and put in the spare room! While on this journey to the room I remember hearing words like “NO, DRAW BLOOD, TIME OUT” but I was so paralyzed by being carried like I was,  I am not sure.

It’s nice in that room. I have plenty of space and a window but soon as I started to protest my imprisonment I heard the black boxes in the living room come to life! They were making it very difficult for her to hear me through all the ruckus they were producing. I think its called music. It just got louder and louder.

Finally I was released. I am exhausted and made refuge in my castle. I will not give up on the old lady; she needs my comfort and companionship. She is alone a lot and the other animals seem to feel they need to sleep most of the day. I can do this, she will love me , she will love me.. She will love me….

Sounds

Dear Diary,

I found the sound of "TREAT"
Ice!!!

Soon as I hear this I know to go running. It delivers chunks of fun! I love leaving the big ones in front of the toilet. I have heard loud noises when the humans step in the ice puddle. I am pretty sure they are yelling about how wonderful I am. 

Kitchen sink

Dear Diary,

 My curiosity has proven to teach me a lesson today. Even if I know the older female wants my help she insists on saying "NO". I could of taken her at her word, but I do know better. I am a cat after all. I was determined to make her realize this. Climbing the dish towel proved successful in reaching the counter she was working at. But to my surprise, since it was the first time up there, i FOUND WATER! I know now that if the older female is standing at the counter, if i try to help her i will be places in the sink and washed. This is a lesson i do NOT want repeated."

The OTHERS

Dear Diary,
Infiltration 101 know your enemy.
I was told I am a cat. Then I moved into this house with these huge other "animals".  Animals what does that mean anyway? These others that walk on all 4 are SO HUGE! I must pull out my inner lion and teach them to respect me at once! I have taken to their habits. I watch and learn because I do realize at 2 months old I am already superior in intelligence. My first month at this new dwelling has proven to be interesting.
1st- their food is the size of my paw. How do they eat that stuff? 
2nd- When they "Bark" at me I must go into the vicious U shape and fluff all fur. This intimidates them more then the first reaction of running away. Big mistake that was... the little one CHASED me. ME! the nerve. This has been rectified I want you to know. But that is for another date.
3rd- They come with built in poles. Some of very furry. Some are not. But they move back and forth when the humans talk to them. This is proven to keep me very entertained. I am using them to perfect my ninja attack. I can tame them. One day i know i will not get knocked half way across the room. I must persevere if i plan on dominating these others. 

My study of these other animals has the big guy who visits calling me "CATDOG"

I am home..

Dear best kitty ever diary. 

I am home. 

I was rescued from the Humane Society and have begun my training of dominating a house.